Love and Logic: Program Review
Love and Logic is a program or philosophy rather, which was developed by Doctors Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline. Jim Fay and his son Charles Fay now travel the country giving lectures and practical advice to parents and teachers. Charles, being not only a contributing force behind the philosophy but a product of Love and Logic himself, gives a light hearted presentation of the Love and Logic Series that every parent in America could benefit from hearing. Dr. Jim Fay as you can imagine also has a humorous delivery and together they make a great father and son team. After all, one of the guiding principles of the program is to “have fun with it.”
Beyond being an entertaining series of lectures, workbooks and activities, the Love and Logic program is aptly named. So often when guiding children, we lose track of our common sense, or in other words our LOGIC. And most of us genuinely do love the children we care for, but often even our love takes a back seat when frustration levels rise. The Love and Logic philosophy teaches parents and caregivers how to set limits for children in loving ways.
As I hinted at above, I will now share with you the underlying, “secret formula” for successful behavior management. According to Doctors Fay and Fay, “children from time to time will be inconvenienced and upset in the short term, in order to live a more enjoyable life in the long term.” Caregivers need to work hard and smart, in the short term, to avoid hard work for the long term. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard parents tell me, “we just don’t have the energy to fight the small battles.” Before they finish the sentence I hand them a copy of Love and Logic. The battle over peas at the dinner table when a child is four may be a small battle, but wars are won, one small victory at a time.
The Love and Logic program teaches very simple and “logical” ways to win the behavior management war, without the child even knowing there was a battle. Applying a strong dose of empathy before a consequence allows the caregiver to remain the “good guy” while the consequence is the “bad guy.” Putting an end to what feels like battles by nipping arguments in the bud. “Going Brain Dead” when a child begins to argue is a valuable tool in the Love and Logic bag. Love and Logic give a practical guide for ending the whining, arguing on the child’s behalf and an end to the warnings, threats and the ever increasing rewards on the parent’s behalf.
Whether you are new at the child care game or a seasoned veteran, I highly recommend picking up a copy of the Love and Logic program or attend a seminar near you. Packages are tailored for specific age groups from 7 months to 17 years. One of the remarkable features of this program is that you can start it at any time, even if you already feel defeated.