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Take the following into account before using any excuse for not showing up with homework:
- Know your audience. Make sure your teacher has a sense of humor. Not all teachers understand humor; not all teachers will find your funny homework excuses funny. Some teachers need boring excuses for not doing homework... because they're boring.
- Know your audience. Make sure the excuse demonstrates elements of knowledge about the assignment you're trying to get excused. The most obvious class for these excuses is English. Most English teachers will be satisfied that you spelled things correctly and showed some creativity. Math and Science teachers will be impressed by any technical terms you bring in. History teachers will be amazed at your use of historical allusions. For art class, draw a picture.
- Presenting funny homework excuses takes practice. You don't just read the excuse, you dramatize it. Use hand motions, voice inflections, and all those things your teachers tell you to do while speaking in public. If you're not capable of a compelling delivery, write the excuse out and put a smiley face on it.
- Write/Practice your excuse now. Using these excuses for not doing homework takes time. If you don't have time to do homework then you don't have time to write and practice an excuse. Have the excuse ready, and when your teacher doesn't believe it, pull out the old "I obviously did it. Heck, I could have done the assignment in a lot less time than making up this excuse, sir."
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A Creative Example
This excuse is especially useful in less populated sections of the country, but variations of it will work anywhere. It's called the Hiker's Dilemma and goes as follows:
You won't believe what happened (your teacher will undoubtedly agree with your opening statement). I was at the library writing my essay on The Declaration of Independence and I got so involved in it that I lost track of time and missed the bus. I stopped off for a bite to eat at Montezuma's cafe and called my Mom for a ride home. She was unable to come, on account of her lupus (the goal is to create sympathy; any disease will do), so I decided to make the long trek home...through the woods. After about an hour of walking and reciting our nation's founding document, Montezuma got his revenge on my stomach. I had no choice but to run behind a bush and squat. I averted one disaster, but my troubles weren't over. I had no toilet paper. I searched through my backpack and all I could find was my essay that I had just written. I struggled for over eight minutes, not knowing what to do. I finally decided to sacrifice the essay. I have it in my locker if you want me to get it. It's pretty disgusting though.........
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Now that you've seen a sample, I'll give you some ideas and you come up with the rest. Keep in mind that not all excuses work on all teachers.
- I was up late taking care of my sick gerbil that my dearest dead grandma gave me as a Festivus gift the day she died. The only thing that could relieve Trentie's pain was a soft bed of notebook paper and the only piece of notebook paper I had was today's homework assignment. Gram gram appreciates your understanding.
- I was in the lunch room and another student started criticizing you and I just couldn't let that go without letting him know he was wrong. I searched through my backpack to find something to throw at him, and all I could find was today's homework assignment, so I let him have it.
- I know this sounds ridiculous, but a dog really did eat my homework. It wasn't my dog. It belonged to the neighbor, a pit bull, and he was chasing my 2-year old sister, your little girl is two, isn't she? Anyhow, just before the pit bull clamped its jaws on this poor defenseless baby, who happens to be the same age as your daughter, I pulled out my binder and shoved it down its throat. The stunned pit bull had no idea what had happened as I carried the poor little girl, who's the same age as your daughter, to safety. The dog made quick work of my binder, which included the homework assignment that was due today, but the little girl's parents, who have a daughter the same age as yours, said you would understand.