How To Say I'm Sorry In Chinese: Explanation of Duìbùqǐ (Sorry, Excuse Me) and Bùhǎoyìsi (Sorry, Feel Reluctant)
Saying I’m sorry in Chinese differs depending on the circumstance:
对不起【duìbùqǐ】means “sorry”, “excuse me”, or “beg you pardon” whereas 不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi】means ”sorry”, “beg your pardon”, “excuse me”, “feel embarrassed”, “feel bad/reluctant”.
对不起【duìbùqǐ】is more commonly used to say “sorry” for serious mistakes and in formal situations. To make it stronger, you can add “ 真【zhēn= really】” before 对不起【duìbùqǐ】.
不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi】is used when you made a less serious mistake, if you have bothered others or if someone has gone out of their way to be kind to you. You can also add “ 真【zhēn= really】or 太【tài= extremely, very】” before 不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi】to make it stronger.
对不起【duìbùqǐ】and 不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi】are often interchangeable if the meaning is “excuse me” or “beg your pardon”.
I. Say I’m Sorry In Chinese: 对不起【duìbùqǐ= sorry】
a. 对不起【duìbùqǐ=sorry】is generally used for serious mistakes.
Example 1:
Sorry, I made a mistake. (serious mistake)
对不起【duìbùqǐ=sorry】,我【wǒ=I】 做【zuò=do】 错【cuò=mistake】 了【le】。
对不起,我 做 错 了。
Example 2:
Teacher, sorry I’m late.
老师 【lǎoshī=teacher】,对不起 【duìbùqǐ=sorry】我 【wǒ=I】迟到【chídào=late】 了【le】。
老师,对不起 我 迟到 了。
Example 3:
Sorry, the joke went too far.
对不起【duìbùqǐ=sorry】_,_开玩笑【kāiwánxiào=joke】 开【kāi=open, run】 大【dà=large, big】 了【le】。
The literal meaning is “Sorry, the joke open too big”.
对不起,开玩笑 开 大 了。
b. 对不起【duìbùqǐ=sorry】is used when you heard the bad or serious news.
Example 1:
A: I broke up with him.
B: Oh? I’m sorry.
A: 我【wǒ=I】 和【hé=and】 他【tā=he】 分手【fēnshǒu= break up, divorce】 了【le】。
B: 啊【a=oh】? 对不起【duìbùqǐ=sorry】。
A: 我 和 他 分手 了。
B: 啊?对不起。
Example 2:
A: My grandma passed away.
B: I’m really sorry to hear that.
A: 我【wǒ=I】奶奶【nǎinai=(paternal) grandmother】
去世【qù shì=pass away】 了【le】!
B: 真【zhēn=really】 对不起【duìbùqǐ=sorry】!
The literal meaning is “I’m really sorry.”
A: 我 奶奶 去世 了!
B: 真 对不起!
c. 对不起【duìbùqǐ=sorry】is used for formal situation.
Example:
Sorry, you need the receipt to return the merchandise.
对不起【duìbùqǐ=sorry】, 退【tuì=return】 货【huò= merchandise, goods】 需要【xūyào=need】 发票【fāpiào=receipt】。
对不起,退 货 需要 发票。
II. Apologizing with: 不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi=sorry】
a. 不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi=sorry】is used for a light or not serious mistake.
Example 1:
Sorry, I’m just kidding!
不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi=sorry】, 开玩笑【kāiwánxiào=joke】!
不好意思,开玩笑!
Example 2:
Sorry, I made a mistake. (light mistake)
不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi=sorry】, 我【wǒ=I】 做【zuò=do】 错【cuò=mistake】 了【le】。
不好意思,我 做 错 了。
III. 不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi=feel reluctant, feel bad】
a. 不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi】 is generally used when you feel bad/reluctant to disturb others.
Example 1:
Sorry I have disturbed you.
不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi=feel bad/reluctant】,
打扰【dǎrǎo=bother, disturb】 你【nǐ=you】 了【le】。
不好意思,打扰 你 了。
The literal meaning is I feel bad that I have disturbed you.
Example 2:
Sorry to put you some trouble.
不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi=feel bad/reluctant】, 麻烦【máfan=bother, put you some trouble】 你【nǐ=you】 一下【yīxià=for a while】。
The literal meaning is I feel bad to put you some trouble for a while.
不好意思,麻烦 你一下。
Note:
When 麻烦【máfan=bother, inconvenient】is used, you have to use 不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi=excuse me】, not 对不起【duìbùqǐ=sorry】.
b. 不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi=excuse me】is generally used when you feel bad to ask people to help.
Example:
Excuse me, could you please help me?
不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi= feel bad/reluctant】, 麻烦【máfan=bother, put you some trouble】 能【néng=can】 帮【bāng=help】 我【wǒ=I】 一下【yīxià=for a while】 吗【ma】?
The literal meaning is “I feel bad to bother you, could you please help me for a while?”
不好意思,麻烦 能 帮 我 一下 吗?
c. 不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi】is used when you feel embarrassed because people are too kind to you.
Example:
A: I really feel embarrassed when we go out, it’s always you paying.
B: It doesn’t matter.
A: 真【zhēn=really】 不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi= feel bad】,我们【wǒmén=we】 出来【chūlai=go out】,一直【yīzhí=always】 都是【dōushì=all are】 你【nǐ=you】 付【fù=pay】 钱【qián=money】。
B: 没关系【méiguānxi=it doesn’t matter, never mind】。
A: 真 不好意思,我们 出来,一直 都是 你 付 钱。
B: 没关系。
Description:
There are generally three ways to answer 对不起【duìbùqǐ=sorry】or 不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi=sorry, feel bad/reluctant】:
a.没关系【méiguānxi=it doesn’t matter, never mind】
b. 没事儿【méishìr=it doesn’t matter, never mind】
c. 不要紧【bùyàojǐn=it doesn’t matter, never mind】
Example 2:
A: This is for you.
B: Thank you, I’m very embarrassed.
A: 送【sòng= give as a present】 给【gěi=give】 你【nǐ=you】。
B: 谢谢【xièxiè=thank you】 , 太【tài=very, extremely】 不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi=feel embarrassed】 了【le】。
A: 送 给 你。
B: 谢谢, 太 不好意思 了。
IV. 对不起【duìbùqǐ= excuse me, beg your pardon】and 不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi= excuse me, beg your pardon】
对不起【duìbùqǐ= excuse me, beg your pardon】and 不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi= excuse me, beg your pardon】are often interchangeable.
Example 1:
Excuse me, please let me through.
对不起【duìbùqǐ=excuse me】,让【ràng= let】 一下【yīxià= in a short while】。
The literal meaning is “Excuse me, please let me through in a short while”.
对不起,让 一下。
Or
不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi=excuse me】,让【ràng= let】 一下【yīxià= in a short while】。
不好意思,让 一下。
Example 2:
Excuse me, I’m allergic to perfume.
对不起【duìbùqǐ=excuse me】,我【wǒ=I】 对【duì= adjust, be directed at】 香水【xiāngshuǐ=perfume】 过敏【guòmǐn=allergy】。
Or
不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi=excuse me】,我【wǒ=I】 对【duì= adjust, be directed at】 香水【xiāngshuǐ=perfume】 过敏【guòmǐn=allergy】。
对不起,我 对 香水 过敏。
不好意思,我 对 香水 过敏。
Example 3:
Beg your pardon, I didn’t hear you clearly.
对不起【duìbùqǐ= beg you pardon】,我【wǒ=I】 没【méi=not】 听【tīng=hear】 清楚【qīngchǔ=clear】。
Or
不好意思【bùhǎoyìsi=beg your pardon】,我【wǒ=I】 没【méi=not】听【tīng=hear】 清楚【qīngchǔ=clear】。
不好意思,我 没 听 清楚。
对不起,我 没 听 清楚。
Learning Chinese: Tonal Pronunciation
If you don’t know how to pronounce the Chinese characters, you can read Learning Chinese: Chinese Tonal Pronunciation Explained to Learn Pinyin Pronunciation