Brief Summary of Romeo and Juliet
If you prefer a scene by scene summary of the play, follow the link. For those who prefer a brief summary of the play, keep reading.
Romeo is a horny teenager in love with a girl named Rosaline who won't put out. This depresses Romeo, so he wanders the forests at night and locks himself in his room during the day. He whines a lot to his friends, Mercutio and Benvolio, who suggest he find another hottie. As fate has it, an illiterate messenger asks Romeo and his crew to read a guest list. On that list is Rosaline, so the three decide to crash the party. There is, however, one slight problem: the party is hosted by the Capulets, the arch enemy of Romeo's family, the Montagues. The three go anyway. About 8.3 seconds into the party, Romeo falls in love with Juliet, the only daughter of--you guessed it--the Capulet family.
After the party, Romeo stalks...errrrr...visits Juliet at her bedroom balcony (leading to some of the most famous quotes in English literature) and they decide to get married. Romeo runs to Friar Lawrence, perhaps the worst ecclesiastical leader since the Inquisition, and arranges the details. The same day as the wedding, Romeo's cousin-in-law, Tybalt, kills Mercutio. Romeo kills Tybalt and is banished from Verona. That doesn't, however, stop him from enjoying honeymoon bliss with his new bride before scuttling off.
As the two newlyweds enjoy each other, Juliet's dad arranges a marriage between Juliet and Paris. Juliet, needless to say, finds this news troubling, so she heads to Friar Lawrence who comes up with the dumbest plan since the Children's Crusade, giving Juliet a potion that will make everyone think she's dead and arrange for Romeo to meet her at her tomb. As with most stupid plans, something goes wrong. Romeo doesn't get the message, thinks Juliet's dead and kills himself (after killing Paris). Juliet wakes up, sees her dead husband--at which time the Friar inexplicably leaves her--and kills herself.