8 Myths to Make You Laugh or Cry
Myth #1: High school English teachers sit around all day reading and discussing great literature, and crafting Romeo and Juliet lesson plans.
Truth #1: High school English teachers sit around all day reading Sarah, Felipe, and Nick's crappy essays. English teachers have no time to read, except in the summer. In fact, if you love reading, become a Math teacher.
Myth #2: Students hate to read.
Truth #2: Students only hate to read what we assign them. English teachers, as a group, are responsible for ruining more great books than any other group in existence. This problem is easy to remedy:
- Let them choose the book.
Let them think they chose the book.
- Read them the book.
- There have been literally (yes, I meant that pun) millions of books written, which means there's at least one for even the most resistant reader. Help him or her find it.
Myth #3: English teachers can't do Math.
Truth #3: I got an 'A' in Calculus. It's pretty annoying when the principal makes a snide remark about English teachers and Math. If Math teachers are so darn smart, how come students in this country stink at Math? I'll tell you why: it's because all standardized tests are actually reading tests with specialized vocabulary, and Math teachers can't read! (Editor's Note: Ouch!)
Myth #4: Some students just can't learn.
Truth #4: Some teachers just can't teach. Teachers are quick to blame everybody (and with good reason, at times) except themselves. Teachers who enter the classroom with the philosophy that there's no such thing as a learning problem, just a teaching problem, will find a way to get through.
Myth #5: English teachers sit around and write all day.
Truth #5: Like we have time to write?
Myth #6:Grammar is painful to teach.
Truth #6: Grammar is only kind of painful to teach. An English teacher who can make grammar interesting deserves a raise.
Myth #7: All English teachers are flaming liberals that promote insurrection.
Truth#7: Some are flaming liberals that promote insurrection. Some are conservatives who promote law and order. Most are just too darn busy grading essays and conducting notebook checks to do either.
Myth #8: English teachers spend their summers at home breaking down sentences and analyzing literature.
Truth #8: English teachers spend their summers in the Caribbean and on golf courses breaking down sentences and analyzing literature.